Here's a short sample of what she has to say:
"I actually know exactly why and if you have like twelve more hours I could tell you the whole sad fucking story that led me up to this very moment while I STILL stuff my face in a futile attempt to feel better, still chasing the high that I felt when I was 5 hiding in my closet eating a can of cake frosting...still trying to fill the this hole to no avail, none whatsoever. After a few years I figured out that figuring out why was just as empty as the food itself, which is just as empty as the lack of something inside me.
Oh don't get me wrong, there is the momentary glee as the chocolate hits my tongue and the temporary thrill of a Quarter Pounder with cheese, super sized fries with two apple pies (and, of course, a diet coke ‘cause I don't want to drink all that sugar!? fucking insane person), but the thrill gets shorter and shorter and harder to find. Which makes me have to eat more and more to try to find something to fill me up. The more food I consume, the more I am consumed by food. Nothing is ever enough or hits the spot. It is endless and pointless and utterly devastating--to me, to my son, my husband, and my world around me. This is where I learned I am powerless and when I dive down the rabbit hole, my life becomes completely unmanageable...they call this hitting bottom:"